Things That Make You Go, "UGGHHH!!!"

Ah, the list of personal pet peeves. We all have them, even though we sometimes pretend we don't. My list is not huge, but has recently been expanded. Let me start by saying that these are new pet peeves that I didn't even know existed until this deployment. So if any of you have been guilty of these, you are forgiven, as I probably would have said some of the same things before I knew better.

First, don't ever tell someone with a deployed (or otherwise absent) spouse that it's not that bad. We instantly get defensive. "Let's see you try it," we mutter under our breath as our blood begins to boil and our nicely manicured fingers curl up into tight fists. Six months may not be as bad as a year or longer, but trust me when I say that it is no picnic. And if you've never experienced it, you don't get an opinion. For that matter, don't go the opposite way and say, "Well, I just know I could never do it." That one, quite honestly, sends me over the edge. Yes, anyone could do this. You will not lay down and die. We do not choose to do deployments, that is just one of the sacrifices that go along with doing something as noble as serving your country. I take great offense to people telling me that they couldn't do it because it makes me feel like they think they love their significant other more than I love mine, or they love their children more than my husband loves his. I'm sure people don't mean it to come across like that, but it does and it is infuriating. I don't want people to tell me how heartless I am just because I am not a total wreck as they assume they would be. The truth is that you take it one day at a time and you adjust. There are no other options.

Second, just because the last seemingly normal six months flew by for you, don't assume they did for me too. Remember back to January. Can you remember that far back? It was just a few weeks after Christmas and a few weeks before Valentines day. Ring any bells? Remember what you were doing then? Now, does that seem like just a short time ago? Cause it feels like frigin' forever to me. That's right, Josh left on Jan 23rd. So, if you should feel yourself beginning to say something along the lines of, "That wasn't so bad," or, "That went by fast," I urge you to seriously reconsider.

So now I have told you all the things not to say. I know this sounds a bit harsh, and please don't be afraid to talk to me about deployments now. There a lot of great things you can say to someone in this situation. Just don't under or over dramatize it and we'll all be alright.